Phetasy News - Everything is Okay
Discover more from Beyond Parody with Bridget Phetasy
Phetasy News - Everything is Okay
Factory Settings 4 - Jeren Was A Vain Tweaker, Walk-Ins Welcome Mediated Series continues, Politically Homeless - Left, Right, Center-ish, Bridget's Megyn Kelly appearance and Spectator article
Greetings from the Phetaverse!
One of my favorite newsletters is James Clear’s “3-2-1”. Every Thursday he drops 3 ideas, 2 quotes, and 1 question to consider. James is probably most famous for his book, Atomic Habits, in which he explains how to make small micro changes in your routines that can have big, long-term effects. I highly recommend his book, but 3-2-1 is fantastic and just so happens to drop when I’m writing my blurb for my Friday newsletter. This week’s question to reflect on was: “Aside from my thoughts, am I okay?”
Peter Tunney, a modern artist whom I love, made a piece my friend bought that says in huge stencil EVERYTHING IS OKAY over newspaper headlines. I love this piece because isn’t that so often the case? If we’re only focusing on the headlines, it can seem as if the world is spinning out of control. When we are lost in thought, or doomscrolling, or future-tripping, it can seem like everything is awful.
The dystopian books and movies got it all backwards. They always had us logging into virtual reality to escape the horrific conditions of our present reality. In modern day, we log into our handheld doombox to fill our minds with terror and if you look out the window it’s like a Disney movie. Birds chirping. Squirrels playing. The sound of children laughing off in the distance.
If we have the ability to pull out of our own spiral and come into the present moment, often, everything is okay. That’s not to say we don’t have to deal with struggles and tragedies and hardships—but more often than not—in the words of my favorite comic book character, Calvin, “My brain is trying to kill me.”
I had a yoga instructor who used to hold very common poses like Warrior I, for twelve breath counts. We, practiced yogis, were used to flowing through these poses without a second thought. Holding them was unbearable. Warrior I is awkward and about four breaths in, your thigh starts to burn. Even more annoying was his mantra, “What are you making up about this experience?” Usually it was something along the lines of: This sucks, I’m hungry, this sucks, I’m hot, this sucks, how long do we have to stand here? I hate this. Our yoga instructor would encourage us to observe what we were telling ourselves and perhaps reframe it, or at the very least, focus on our breath. I’m getting stronger, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breath out, I can stay here forever.
So much of life is reframing our current circumstances. Whether it’s going through a tough time in your marriage, or standing in line at the grocery store, or dealing with your kids, or sitting in traffic, this week ask yourself, “What am I making up about this experience?”
Thumbnail artwork by Lara Cullen.
Email laracullenstudio@gmail.com to inquire or contact her.
Phetasy News - Everything is Okay
What am I making up about this experience?
So much!
As a trafficking survivor I tend to get triggered every time someone pretending to care about "sex workers" advocates for legalized pimping and sex buying (otherwise known as full decriminalization of the sex trade).
I just read Richard Reeves book "Of Boys and Men" in which he makes many stupid claims, only one of which is that sexually abusing and traumatizing an entire class of women is a small price to pay in service to the sacred male libido.
When I first heard about the book "Of boys and men" I thought Great! Now people will start paying attention to the deaths of despair afflicting poor & working class men - even straight white "cis" men.
Poor & working class men deserve a MUCH better book than Reeves' piece of crap.
Instead of advocating for breadwinner wages for EMT's, firemen, policemen, electricians, plumbers, construction workers, roofers, truck drivers, garbage collectors, etc (otherwise known as "essential work") what does this guy advocate for?
More male kindergarten teachers and having boys wait two years longer than girls before starting elementary school.
Apparently, girls and women tend to be more booksmart than boys and men (well, duh).
So women are taking over the colleges and the non-STEM professions.
According to Reeves, this is the source of men's angst and despair.
But he's wrong.
It's the wages, stupid.
There are plenty of ways to be brilliant and contribute to society without being able to succeed in school.
Just as fewer women are choosing to go into the STEM professions, fewer men are choosing to go to college. So what?
The only reason this is a "crisis" is that blue collar jobs pay shit wages, which make men who do those jobs feel like shit.
Reeves thinks we should encourage men to do jobs they are not interested in and may be less capable of doing (like being kindergarten teachers and nurse's aides).
Newsflash: those jobs also pay shit wages. If working class men follow Reeves' advice they'll feel even WORSE about themselves. Especially if they're held back in school for two years due to an innate developmental delay.
Reeves complains about the term "toxic masculinity" claiming it implies that men are somehow innately toxic (I agree, it's not a useful phrase).
But THEN he goes on to defend Jeffrey Toobin for masturbating during a zoom work call!! Reeves claims that "men can't help it" (boys will be boys) so Toobin should get a pass. I'm sorry, but the vast majority of men, no matter how horny they are, can control themselves enough not to masturbate in front of their co workers.
Also in the "boys will be boys" vein, Reeves claims that sex buying should be legalized because men "need" prostitution due to their overwhelmingly high sex drives. Really? Men "need" to rent women's bodies like appliances or their balls will explode??
To justify his defense of sex buying as "woman friendly" Reeves quoted an extremely limited (and classist) report claiming that when a strip club and escort service opened in a NYC neighborhood, sex crimes in the neighborhood went down by 13%. Great! I'm sure the residents of Park Slope will be demanding that strip clubs and brothels start opening up in their neighborhoods, too.
The authors of the study claim this 13% decrease in sex crime "proves" that sex offenders took their aggression out on the "disposable" women in the strip clubs and brothels rather than on the "decent" women who don't work in the sex industry. How "progressive".
Also, when sex buying is legalized, demand increases. Since there is never enough "willing" supply to meet demand, the gap is filled in by sex traffickers. And which women and kids do these traffickers victimize? Usually poor women & kids -disproportionately black and Indigenous.
Reeves' book left me filled with despair, because the "intelligentsia" is so hopelessly out of touch with the poor and working classes, and either are not talking to them or not listening to them when they do.
What I am making up about this experience is that poor and working class people are doomed.
Even those who seem to "care" are so asinine that their "solutions" do more harm than good.
I'm sure that I am merely catastrophizing, but I truly hope someone writes a book that actually does bring attention to the fact that not being able to earn a breadwinner wage is crushing the souls of millions of men in this country.
Reeves' book is NOT it.